He kills me/ I kill him/ then we resurrect again/ I remind him of his mother, and their dwindling/ so i question were we honestly better off as friends/ but love has me consumed, by this gentleman/ so maybe we're drowning yet gasping for oxygen/ and there's so much that we don't really understand/ but he's the one i ultimately want to give my hand/ I love him more than one can ever comprehend/ and i will always be his biggest fan/ whether it's rappin, beatin, or playin an instrument/ behind him i will faithfully always stand/ but still the pain of love is fatal in u head/ then the lingering insecurities of women in ur bed/ non-existent suspicion i still often dread/ i subconsciously veer from pernicious dead ends/ but still i get submerged within the quicksand/ the battles from within leaving me brain dead/ until you come save me and we arise again

    Ok so i guess i made my decision on what to do with it if i am.... last night me and william had a very interesting conversation and i officially know that we definitely aren't ready for a child cuz his ways of supporting it were..... unreasonable.... so i've decided i'm just goin to abort it if i am... I guess i'm kinda sad which is strange to get sad about something that doesn't actually exist yet but i guess the choice is saddening if it does exist but right now i don't really see any other way for us to go about this, i've thought about adoption but i guess if i am prego i don't want my family or his family to know about it if i'm deciding not to keep it so i'm just goin to stop the process all together... maybe i would've kept it if we were a little bit older and our thought process was somewhat maturer where we were able to come up with a reasonable plan, but we together as a couple aren't we are still children.... and i'm hope i'm not hurting him by making this decision cuz i know he wants to support and not bell out on our mistake but i gotta make a choice that's best for US and having a baby right now just isn't that choice....

    So i guess this week has been one of the most festive so far.... actually not really it's just one of those strange weeks i guess....Well lets see i can't even remember wut i did monday must not have been too important that i can't remember so i'mma just skip to tuesday.... William came over we had a pretty good time we had some fruit roll ups cuz i guess we cute but it was nice we watched the game ya know pretty coo day he got in trouble which i honestly think could've been avoided but he's a lil knuckle-headed sometimes so we've been talkin about that all week ya know how to work on him and his mom's relationship and ya know just giving advice on things and tryin to help cuz i mean if he keeps doin this he's just goin to get in more trouble and he's not goin to have a very good summer and him and his mom's relationship might end up down the drain... i just don't want him to end up losing all his support systems cuz eventually ppl are goin to get tired of tryin to help him when he doesn't want to listen or corporate, i'm just tryin to do the best i can cuz that's wut a good friend would do right.... they wouldn't let their friend go down a dark path if they knew where the real exit was right or would they just let them keep wonderin around until they found it on their own....idk...i've been askin my mom ya know wut she thinks i should do ya know gettin advice here and there so that's been helpful, actually kinda talked to his mom and she just wants to help him she just doesn't know how to reach him she thinks maybe he'll listen more to me cuz he's open to me and not to them and i guess i'm tryin i don't know it all i'm just a kid myself but i do know a little bit so i hope my little bit is helpful and that he's at least thinkin about it and taking it into consideration..... who knows well today i got to cirt to finish the freakin DVD MENU which is dumb this is like one of the worst internships ever but i would never leave Michelle alone there with Earl and Megan cuz they are some BITCHES and i love her too much so we're goin to go up there and finish it up and maybe we'll get called back for some real jobs this time... but i guess i'mma go find something to do with myself since i'm awake thanks to EARL.....